


a familiar feeling

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, First Kiss, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), M/M, Pining Evan Hansen, Teen Romance, Treebros, confused evan hansen, dear evan hansen - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:22:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24744535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: If Connor Murphy and Evan Hansen were best friends.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 71





	a familiar feeling

**Author's Note:**

> my first treebros fic!!

Heidi was good friends with Cynthia, so their sons saw each other often. It was always awkward between them. Heidi and Cynthia hoped one day their sons would become friends. They decided to give them time. _They'd come around_ , they thought.

Just like Heidi and Cynthia, it took the two boys a while to get used to each other. Eventually, they did get used to each other. They hung out outside and during school and were close with each other. Larry pestered Connor with questions about Evan. He noticed how close the two boys were. Larry was afraid that they're more than what they said (like it mattered so much). Connor knew his father didn't trust their relationship. He and his father were distant since then.

Anytime his father mentioned how close Connor and Evan were, he demanded him to leave Evan and him alone and that it was none of his business.

Cynthia tried to assure Larry that they couldn't be so sure, but larry always told her he always tries to 'expect the unexpected' when it comes to Connor and Evan.

That pissed Connor off. It made Evan hate himself. They were still there for each other every time. Neither of them acknowledged the warm feeling they felt around each other.

Heidi was happy that Evan was friends with Connor. Ever since his fall out with Jared, she tried to encourage him to step out of his comfort zone and make new friends. He ended up only making one, Connor, but she was okay with that. Connor made Evan smile and laugh. It was something she rarely saw. He didn't even stutter around him. That made her even happier.

When Evan's dad left, he felt like he wasn't good enough. He felt like he did something wrong like it was all his fault. Those thoughts carried into middle school and freshman year. Connor was there for him even though Evan felt like a burden to him. Connor was there for him through every panic attack and mental breakdown. Evan appreciated that. Five things you can see always helped.

Evan's relationship with Zoe was distant. They exchanged hello's and goodbye's, but never actually spoke to each other. There were times when Zoe asked if Connor was hurting him. Evan always responded with no because he wasn't. Connor rarely shouted at Evan. He could never raise his voice around him. He was too fragile and he knew loud noises upset him. Evan thought Connor was a good friend and Connor thought the same about Evan.

Connor's relationship with Zoe was distant as well, but they argued. He'd hurt Zoe and Zoe would hurt him. Swear words were thrown at each other. She tried not to take it personally because she knew he needed help. They were close once. Zoe wished they still were, but she didn't know how to get through to him. so, she gave up on him. Connor always felt guilty for hurting his little sister. He felt guilty for threatening to kill her, banging on her door, and telling her to shut up when she played her guitar.

He thought he'd lose Evan to admitting how much of a shit brother he was, but Evan didn't run away in fear or disgust. He stayed there, listening and comforting him. He told him that he could change.

_"You can change, Connor. You're human. You're capable of change."_

_Connor gave him the tiniest smile. "I'll try for Zoe."_

_Evan smiled softly at him, holding his hand and intertwining their fingers. "I believe in you." They still ignored the warm feeling they both felt around each other._

Freshman year, Evan and Connor saw each other less. They still hung out which was good, but they found it difficult to even say a word to each other.

Freshman year was also the year when Connor's hair grew longer and _woah_ Evan thought. He tried to ignore the warm familiar feeling his chest and fluttering in his stomach that he had felt before when he thought of or was with Connor before, but he couldn't take his eyes off of him when he passed him in the hallways or in the one class they had together. Had he always been that attractive? Connor caught him staring a few times. He'd casually ask him about it, but all Evan could be stutter and stammer. Connor found it cute, so he shrugged it off every time.

When Evan first saw Connor with his hair tied up, Evan's mind when into overdrive. He could feel his face heat up and his heart race at such a simple sight. His hair tied up let even see his face. Only then did he notice how blue his eyes were and how there was a single brown peck in one of them. They reminded him of Zoe's eyes, but better. Connor's eyes made him stand out from everything and anyone else around him. Evan could stare forever at them if it didn't make him look like a complete weirdo.

Connor would defend Evan when people messed with him. There were times when Evan was called gay like it was an insult by Jared and his friends. He'd always come to the rescue. Evan tried to do the same for him. Every time, he ended up failing, but Connor swore it was okay. He was good a defending himself anyways. Evan admired that about Connor. he could talk back without freaking out because Connor just didn't care most of the time. He'd argue with and fight whoever he had to.

That only confused him even more. Love and admiration was always something strange to Evan.

He didn't know what he felt when he was around Connor. Every smile, every laugh, every smirk, every time they made contact eye just sent him. All he knew was that he felt some form of positive emotion. He just adored Connor in general.

When the truth abruptly hit Evan, he almost cried. He had a _huge gay crush_ on his best friend, but what did that mean? He was straight, right? Girls never appealed to him. He's never liked a girl before which would make Connor his first-ever crush. There were so many questions lingering in his mind. They terrified him. He forced himself to keep them quiet. He forced himself to ignore them, and he did. All through the rest of freshman year. That led to sophomore year and junior year. He was still so confused with sexuality, but he had no one to talk to about it. He couldn't go to his mom, or Connor, or Zoe because that'd be weird to him.

He thought he'd never come to terms with his sexuality. _Was Connor even gay?_ He still couldn't help but admire from afar, and he could live with that. He just had to wait for the feelings to fade away because Connor would never like an anxious mess like him. Connor was.. the best, and Evan was the complete opposite of that.

* * *

_senior year._

They were in the computer lab alone and sitting across from each other during lunch. Evan couldn't help but stare at Connor's eyes. How focused they were on the pages in the book he was reading. His hair fell in front of his face. His hair looked so soft and fun to just play with or run his hands through. He wanted to try that so badly, but that'd be crossing boundaries.

Every single thing Evan just adored about his best friend reminded him of the huge crush he had on him. Evan tried to bury those feelings a place where they could never be found again, but just the pure thought of Connor made them flourish.

"Ev, you there?"

Shit. He was caught staring again.

"No- I mean yes, I mean no, but also- also yes. I spaced out again, sorry." He stammered out. Connor snorted.

"You're so fucking cute." he said suddenly. Evan went wide-eyed. He wasn't sure he heard that correctly. His face and the tips of his ears were on fire. "I shouldn't have said that." Connor murmured when he noticed Evan's reaction.

"No! It's okay. Ithinkyou'recutetoo." Evan admitted. The last sentence was slurred together. Connor just smiled. _Ohmygodhismile_.

"Thanks, Ev."

Evan chuckled nervously. "Yeah, you're welcome."

 _Ohmyfuckinggodholyshit_.

"You okay, Ev?"

Evan quickly nodded. It was almost automatically. "Yeah, totally. yeah."

Connor stood up from the chair he sat in and occupied the empty one next to Evan with the book in his hand. He closed it and set it on the table.

"What are you reading?" Evan asked to fill the weird silence.

"Some boring shit. Zoe recommended it to me."

 _Zoe?_ He hadn't heard Connor say that name in a while.

"Zoe?"

Connor hummed. "We've been talking more. Thanks to you." He smiled at Evan. It looked so genuine and subtle and perfect and real and he loved it. God, he was so gay for his best friend.

"You're blushing." Connor pointed out.

"I know. I know." Evan hid his face in his hands.

Connor laughed. Jesus, his laugh was super nice too. He was so fucked, wasn't he?

When he removed his hands from his face, Connor must've scooted closer to him. He could feel his breath on his lips. His eyes were much brighter up close. Evan wanted to kiss him, but he didn't know how to kiss. He didn't want to fuck this up. It took every ounce of his very small willpower to refrain from doing anything embarrassing. Connor knew Evan wouldn't make the first move-

So he just stuck with a brief and soft kiss on his best friend's lips, smiling into the kiss that they both had been waiting for. It was short, yet it had so much meaning and feeling. Evan's heart exploded. His feelings were suddenly let go from their cage and they were screaming. Every silenced question that was pushed to the back of his mind was suddenly answered. He felt so relieved like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"I really like you." Evan confessed with wide eyes when Connor pulled back, lovestruck. That was just an understatement.

Connor breathily chuckled, trying to hide the fact that he was relieved himself. "I would assume so. you didn't pull back."

Evan let out another nervous chuckle.

"Do you-"

"Yes, Ev."

Connor smiled. So did Evan. Evan's eyes flickered to Connor's lips. He placed a chaste kiss on his crush's lips like it was nothing. Their fingers were intertwined. Adoring Connor made Evan want to adore himself too.

"That makes me happy."

"Makes me happy too, Ev."

That warm and familiar feeling came back and neither of them ignored it. They still didn't know what they were, but that didn't matter then. What mattered was that they found each other and that was all the validation they needed at that moment.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> this was fun to write even though it's pretty short.


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